My insecurities will eat me alive

After a Break-Up your incredibly insecure. That’s not popular opinion, it’s fact. Unless of course your a desirable honey who left a man that constantly did you wrong. But, even then…

I’m at times very insecure about lots of different things. My weight (dying for that revenge body), my face, my make up, my chins and if my personality and flaws are too overpowering for men. It’s mainly the latter. I know I’m a fun time but I also know I am incredibly needy. It’s a trait of mine that I have came to hate. I need reassuring constantly. Otherwise I get anxious. Mainly because I’m always worried about other people and their thoughts and feelings. I’m always worrying about what the man I’m with might be thinking. What he might be feeling. Is he being honest? Is he being faithful? Sometimes it’s difficult to just take someone’s word for it.

My good friend has spoke a lot recently of how “actions speak louder than words” and I’m trying to rely on that. When I may feel that someone’s words aren’t enough, I need to be observant of their actions.

I also need to stop giving too much of myself away. When I meet someone new, I give them my all. I put 110 percent into that person. I have never saw a reason to not be upfront about me feelings. I have always thought – this is me and you either like it or you don’t or this is how I feel and if you don’t feel the same then so be it – this isn’t always easy. Because I am always worrying. Worrying I’m not enough or I’m too much. Either way it’s never easy.

Especially after someone made the decision the leave you. It’s difficult to accept someone else’s affections so easily because you constantly remind yourself that it could be a lie or that it could end badly. It’s not easy and it’s definitely not healthy.

I have always said I will trust anyone until they give me a reason not to. So that’s what I will probably do. Trust, until I can’t anymore.

There are lots of other things girls become insecure over, especially where a relationship is concerned but we never let that stop us. Well, I know I don’t.

I know one thing is for sure, I may not be perfect but I love fiercely and unconditionally. I also intend to keep doing so.

Thanks for reading x

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